Melon Yellow

well, folks, we's up an' runnin' in this here 2009 season...o-fish first showings were two sundays ago (after a preliminary 'repo man' screening at the mayor's mansion weeks before) with the MIND-BLOWING 'roadie' starring our hero meatloaf followed by the not-really-a-linda-blair-vehicle 'nightforce' (shades of the cake-takin' 'eliminators' here, no kiddin').



basically what you've got with 'roadie' is our boy meat', a backwoods beer delivery dude and all-'round jury-riggin' inventor an' fix-it type who gets all a-tangled with a rail-thin, orthodontics-needin' doll of self-professed jailbait magnitude and joins up with some kinda rock and/or roll circus headed by none other than yer one-an'-only watch-out-he's-currently-tuff don cornelius. zaniness ensues (NATCH), including an outdoor concert run on cowshit, a roy orbison (er RAY ORBISOE, as sez shane's pals on the road) an' hank jr. duet on 'eyes of texas' in order to stop a barroom brawl, an' a night out with the ever-mild-mannered (it's not a good joke in retropect, shoulda seen that comin') vincent furnier. & all the while we're serenaded by the dulcet tones of the cheap trix. kinda essential and i can't believe after meanin' to see it all of forever that it took this long. oh yeah, and art carney (art. carney.) is in it as meat's pop, embos fans. deal.



'nightforce' is a li'l more, ahem, existential, ladies and al, but in the end there's a grimy helicopter and all gets themselves out alreet so a success it shall be called. to start at the start (as we must, loverboy never-be-damned), what ya got is some kinda field trip to central america with a u-haul full o'weaponry in tow in order to rescue the quite often suddenly topless daughter of some evidently somewhat very important fellow who's been kid-popped by a softball buddy of brother fidel's. oh, and th' aforementioned tart is bangin' a pair of brothers, one of whom she's betrothed to an' the other who leads our mission. after the first reel of skinemax softcore we dive right into the mississippi soundstage jungles an' run into our crocodile dundee/rutger hauer know-it-all o'course (in a saloon. true.), & everything proceeds to make even less sense, & eventually we get to th' helicopter. there was some confusion as to whether we were dealing with one baddie referred to as both esteeban and estobahn, or a coupla warring factions headed by coincidentally similarly-named doods, but in the end tho' i don't know that we ever figured it out it hardly mattered. stars t.j. acosta as "fat man," and that should be more than enuff to recommend it.

100% of alcohol containment devices ended life in front of the screen.