Tuesday, June 9, 2009


Unpunctuated due to time constraints

Lorenzo Llamas night featuring Terminal Justice and the world premiere of Mega-shark vs. Giant Octopus Terminal Justice features LL as future cop/veteran of cartel wars who's "not into virtual sex" and whose veins course with a drug called Hellraiser which makes killing like fucking which he was shot up with during the war where he lost his eyes and got new robot eyes which can make everything green and a cool tatoo and he impresses a hot young virtual sex actress(?) by shootinig a guy in her living room and scores a date with her to the envy of his partner who is the only one he can trust but he dies soon and LL is teamed up with a smartass computer nerd who he initially bristles at but eventually teaches to dress in leather to defeat the man who manufactures Hellraiser and deadly VR war games and who is secretly having a renegade doctor who faked his death clone himself (the doctor that is) and make female clone sex slaves that he can totally fuck up on Hellraiser but LL takes Hellraiser and stops him in VR battle and a clone kills the doctor who is herself legally so there is no case against her Mega-shark v Giant Octopus it's all in the title literally kinda a crap fest w/ Deborah Gibson and LL the best part I missed because was smoking weed next week UHF I don't need to tell you anything about UHF fool except that twinkie wiener sandwiches are really great but maybe Scuddy will write an affectionate homage later Krush Groove Def Jam story conceived as after school special Disco 3 change their name to Fat Boys after putting a Sbarro out of business movie sucks but again maybe an homage piece here later

-J. Baker, brilliant young scientist