Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Also ran:

Omega Cop
In the future (and from all signs somewhere in Cleveland), a unit of the special police are cruising around in Jeeps listening to doowop. The fun is abruptly ended when they stumble upon one of the future's ubiquitous gangs auctioning off young women (with a bonus can of gas!) Guns, karate, and one special cop remains: John Travis. Apparently Adam West can't let him back into the secret underground bunker because of solar flares or something, so Travis collects a trio of fine young ladies and makes for a football stadium, where the girls spend the remaining run time washing each other in the locker room showers and showing Travis their, umm, gratitude, right? Wrong. Instead Travis spends his time chasing kids around inexplicable 36-sided buildings to reclaim articles of clothing he left lying in his open-top Jeep, one of the girls is captured, a guy licks her armpit, chanting, guns, bigger guns, chase, repeat. There's a doctor somewhere in there but who cares. at the end Travis blows up Adam West to save ?. I have no idea where these cops draw their paychecks since there doesn't appear to be any society left to serve and protect and John Travis kills everyone else in the movie except the three girls, and then they go swimming (fully clothed). Upholds some traditional drive-in values (future cop, assorted assault weapons fired, paychecks for famous actors in their twilite period), but pretty boring, breast-factor of 0, 2 out of 5 whatevers.
- J. Baker, brilliant young scientist

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